The Big (Brother) East

I've gotten way too invested in Big Brother this summer. You can blame Rob Cesternino for that. I heard about his Survivor podcasts through twitter and I was hooked. Since he does podcasts about Big Brother, I decided to give things a go. I watched the Showtime feeds, or Big Brother After Dark, when I wrote late at night last year or when I had the tv on to fall asleep. When you aren't invested what they are talking about, that show is boring. When you are about what's happening, the show can be boring because the people on it only have so much to talk about. We are getting to the end of Big Brother. We are getting into the start of football season. What better way to tie in two of my favorite things than a post compairing teams to Big Brother contestants? I can't think of one either. Let's do it. 

Louisville - Dan



Louisville and Dan have the pressure of winning attached to them this season. Louisville and Dan were both returning champions. At this point in the seasons for both, the major question is will they bring the title home? Both are the overwhelming favorites. Louisville has gotten better each of the last 2 seasons. They have arguably the best coach in the league. They have the best quarterback in the league. They have one of the best defenses in the league. They have all the ingredients. Dan is aligned with pretty much everyone in the house. He has final 2 deals with Ian, Jenn and Danielle. He was left for dead until he made one of the greatest plays in the history of the show. He held a funeral for Dan the player in which he destroyed Danielle. He came clean about his alliance to then HOH Frank, got Jenn to take him off the block when she won veto, and the next week he voted Frank's ass out. It was brilliant. They both had some luck when West Virginia left the Big East before this season and when Frank bought in with Dan wholeheartedly. The only question is if Dan can get to the end and can get the votes. The biggest question for Louisville is if they can handle the hype and make it through Big East play at the top of the standings. It won't be easy for either, but it will be very entertaining to watch. The only thing that needs to happen to make this comparison more complete, is Charlie Strong needs to explain the rules of every game in his on field interviews before the game.

Cincinnati - Ian



Ian came into the Big Brother house a dark horse favorite. The Bearcats came into the Big East this year a dark horse favorite. UC's Big East history intertwines with Ian's in the house. UC won 2 Big East games their first season. Ian ran around the house with only a cowboy hat covering his junk and walked around the house talking to himself like a weirdo. Cincinnati stabilized as a good team. Ian was on Team Boogie and floating along. Then, the big moves happened. Cincinnati had Brian Kelly join up as coach. Ian joined the Quack Pack. Both soared to new heights as UC won back to back league titles and Ian successfully got Boogie and Frank out of the house. There were moments of peril. Cincinnati had a rocky 2010 season while Ian got put up on the block last week. They bounced back. UC won a share of the league title and a bowl game last year. Ian won HOH and is guaranteed a spot in the Final Four. You wouldn't look at UC football or Ian and think that they would be a dominant player. But their looks are deceiving. They aren't ripped like Shane, they are hyped like Pittsburgh, but at the end of the day, they are in contention.

Pittsburgh - Joe



Pittsburgh and Joe are such an obvious match that it spawned the whole idea behind this column. Joe was a loud, loud, loud man who told a lot of tall tales while everyone else sat around and laughed at him. Since 2005, Pittsburgh has been a loud, loud, loud team who has everyone tell a lot of tall tales about how good they are going to be and at the end of the year, we all sit around and laugh at them. Pittsburgh and Joe also never win. Joe didn't win a single challenge. I don't even think he was on the winning team in one. Pittsburgh hasn't won a single Big East title since 2005. Pitt played one of the worst games of all time in 2008's version of the Sun Bowl. Joe played one of the worst all time games of Big Brother. Just like how Joe screamed in the diary room, Pitt makes a lot of noise in the offseason. It's a new coach, a top recruit, returning starters, none of it ends up mattering. When competitions started, both lost. Just like how Joe was eliminated on Thursday, so were Pitt's chances of being taken seriously in the Big East this season. There aren't isn't a lot of disappointment in the fact we'll never see them again. 

Syracuse - Jenn City



This parallel is not exactly one that would jump off the page. Once you start thinking about it though, the pieces lock into place. When you look at Syracuse and you look at Jenn, you sort of nod your head and think to yourself "That's a thing that won't last very long," and move on. Most of the time, you aren't wrong. As time progresses, you start to think "Hey, this isn't terrible, it's just mediocre." You also aren't wrong. They float along and BAM, they'll do something that turns your head and makes you take notice. For Syracuse, that has been winning at least 1 big game a year since 2007. For Jenn City, that was winning the power of veto (albeit on a fluke). Syracuse beat down West Virginia last year and completely changed the conference race. It cost West Virginia an outright title. Jenn used the power of veto to save Dan. At this point in the game, Syracuse has Ryan Nassib. Nassib has been great so far. Jenn has the Quack Pack turning on each other and maybe one of them being voted out instead of her. Neither thing is going to result in winning much. Jenn has pretty much no one to help her. Syracuse has a defense that has given up 42 points a game. I left out the obvious parallel, both stake claims to New York. 

South Florida - Shane



Based off looks alone, South Florida and Shane look like they are going to be major players. You see the skill that they possess and the talent that they have. Once you start scratching beneath the surface, there isn't a lot there. They both make questionable uniform choices. The basketball uniforms are the ones I dislike the most, but I'm also not a fan of the gold helmets. It doesn't take a ZingBot to make fun of Shane and his pink tank tops. The similarities are quite striking. South Florida has a reputation for being a team that comes out early, wins and wins easy, then falls apart like a house of cards in a tornado. Shane started the season winning competitions and winning HOHs. After the competition he won to put Boogie and Frank on the block, Shane has been a complete non-factor. He hasn't won anything. He gave up a chance on winning a competition because he literally couldn't hang. What looked to be a ride to the end has resulted in an earlier than expected exit. It hurts the same for both of them because both swoons come during crunch time. In the end, they accept 4th place and ride off into the sunset.

Rutgers - Danielle



When I think of Rutgers or Danielle, I let out an 'eh' and move on with my day. Neither Rutgers nor Danielle are very sexy. Danielle and Rutgers can be pretty when they dress up all nice, but there were better looking girls around. Like JoJo, the love of my life. I hope someone sends her this link and for some reason she reads this part and finds this. Call me, JoJo. Rutgers seems like they are on the rocks at the beginning of every season. Dani was up for eviction very early this year. Then Rutgers seems to round into shape. Dani started following Dan's lead to the t. All of a sudden, you are wondering how in the hell they are in a competitive spot. You think about it and then you realize that they really aren't. Rutgers goes on to lose important games. Dani has pretty much no chance to win the game. I can see her making it to the end because no one in the jury will vote for her. Just like no one will vote for Rutgers to win the league. Except for the On the Banks guy in the UConn Blog polls, that dude is a homer. Both are rather delusional as well. Rutgers thinks it's New York's team, when no one cares. Dani thinks Shane is in love with her and is pretty much obsessed with him. Danielle hates this comparison with Rutgers so much, she started crying. 



Temple - Janelle 



The one big disconnect with this one right off the bat is that Jenelle was much more successful on Big Brother than Temple has probably ever been in football. Temple was booted from the Big East and got a second chance. Janelle was booted twice from Big Brother and got a third chance. Temple never won a thing in the Big East. Hell, they didn't win a game their last season in the Big East. Janelle was a loser in season 6, season 8 and now season 14. There was some success with Temple. They won at least 8 games each of the last 3 seasons. Janelle was having success as a coach, none of her players were voted out. Temple joined the Big East and Janelle chose to join this season of Big Brother. It worked out very poorly for Janelle because she went out on her ass the next week. It's going to work out poorly for Temple because all of their best players are not on this team. They looked good in the past, but the present is/was not kind. 

Connecticut - Mike Boogie



The easy comment here would be this. What are two things from the northeast that no one likes? UConn football and Mike Boogie. You might be wondering where I'm getting off comparing Connecticut football to Boogie. For one, I don't really like typing Connecticut or Boogie. I misspell Boogie a lot more than I misspell Connecticut though. But not as much as I misspelled misspell in that sentence. Boogie and UConn came on our tv screens at about the same time. Big Brother 2 was in 2001, UConn joined Division 1 in 2002. UConn joined the Big East in 2004, All Stars was 2006. Early success was not abundant for both, but both had moments. Connecticut went to a couple of bowl games. Mike joined up with Dr. Will and formed ChillTown. Both saw the ultimate success. Connecticut won the Big East in 2010. Mike Boogie won All Stars. There were some asterisks. Connecticut won a very down league, Boogie used Will and ran to the title. Since they've shown up since, you know that they aren't going to win again. Connecticut is a solid program, but they don't attract the talent that other programs do. Boogie had such a big target on his back that he was going to get cut before he could be dangerous. Mike didn't even want to be a player this season. UConn wants to be a player in the Big East, but looking at that schedule, it's not going to be a player for long. 

I think this worked out very well. What say you, Dan?


 
Photos via: tumblr (Jenn and Janelle) Online Big Brother (Danielle), Big Brother Fix (crying Danielle), Big Brother On Tumblr (Shane), nola.com (Ian), Big Brother Junkies (Joe), Zap2It (Dan), TV Grapevine (Mike)